Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
