So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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