I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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