Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
