i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
