glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
