thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't deserve a penis
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
