just come out here and I will go home with you...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
