What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
