i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize