She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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