Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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