umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
