i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Every concussion has its silver lining
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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