2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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