Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
