just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
