please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
