But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm passing your future prison.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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