Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
