Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
