youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
