Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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