Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
