If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
