i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
