My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
