what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
