Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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