that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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