That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
