pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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