What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
