He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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