'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
