I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
