My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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