I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
