Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
