I wanna passion pit in your ass
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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