home. puking in laundry basket.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
where are you?
Hypothermia
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I still have a little drunk in my system
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
