Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
