im drinking this country out of the recession.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize