He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
