I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
