Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
