I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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