This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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