Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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