I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
