I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
