BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize