I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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