i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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