Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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