idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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