I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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