You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
