i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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