i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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