She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize