Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
