he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
