thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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