It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
