Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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