yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
