we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Come see our sink grown plant.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
